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7 Signs That You’ve Really Found The One

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You might think that people who are truly in love automatically know the answer to this question, with no doubt in their minds—and a lucky few do, but for many, this generally isn’t the case. People vary in the extent to which they know and can distinguish between their own emotions (Barrett, Gross, Christensen, and Benvenuto, 2001). This puts us in a tricky situation, because knowing how we feel affects how we act.

So how do you know if you’re feeling love—or something else?

Research on love and relationships provides a scientific basis for differentiating between love and interpersonal emotions that do not predict lasting relationships. Consider the seven following signs as you try to clarify your current relationship situation. They may help you determine your next move.

1. You find yourself saying “we” more than “I” or “me.”

Language is a secret window into how you perceive yourself in relation to others. What words do you use? What words does your partner use? People who are close use plural words like “we” more frequently in conversation than singular pronouns like “I” or “me” (Pennebaker, Mehl, and Niederhoffer, 2003). The kinds of feelings that suggest love are likely accompanied by a tendency to use plural pronouns.

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